Life Choices--at The End

On January 3, 2010, at 2:45PM, my 59 year old sister-in-law, Dee, passed away of cancer. She endured the prodding and poking, toxic effects of chemo, endless hours waiting for results, and finally loss of hope. After 3 and a half years of stoic determination to beat the injustice inflicted upon her, Dee came to a final decision to create a peaceful and memorable end of life scenario.

A hospital bed was set up by Mike in the living room so that she could daily see the peaceful flowing river, the evening sunset, the morning sunrise and small animals outside her picture windows. Her favorite things were in the room around her, and quiet, calming music played in the background. For many weeks, Dee was taken care of by her loving husband and hospice friends, at any hour of the day or night.  She was never alone. She was always comfortable and devoid of pain. Visitors could come and go, family could sleep in the big recliner near her, she could partake in every day goings on in the family.

She had requested that Mike build her a simple wooden casket which he did with love and devotion, and she was able to plan her memorial service with her family. With their loving support, they took care of her at home until her last breath. No funeral home was required. A lovely church visitation and service on the first day after her passing, and a moving  service and visitation at home followed the church service with lovely tributes to her by clergy, close family, and friends--all at home. Her closest lifetime friend sang a favorite hymn that Dee had requested. When she felt the mood was right, a pure single voice emerged from the back of the room. It was perfect. Stories were told, poems were read, bible verses were recited, all for Dee.

The personal care that Dee received allowed her to spend valuable and loving time with Mike, family and friends. Her story was well known at the local hospice, where she had been a beloved nurse to others for over 13 years, and she was chosen to be interviewed by a group doing a documentary on end of life care. The good people who are making the film are attempting to learn more about how we can better care for loved ones in this stage of life. Is it better to take the toxic drug route? Or, should we provide loving end of life care at home for those we love and cherish? Dee will be in the final documentary when it is published. I hope you get a chance to see it. Dee made her mark on the world at the end of her life.

Some might say that it is not easy to manage caring for someone at home at the end of their life, but what if it was made easier? Would you then consider it?  Please take a look at the stirring trailer, "One Step Closer". You decide.

Dee's Daily Motivation